MGMT 535 (Module 2) Reflection Blog: Taking Someone to Lunch

MGMT 535 (Module 2) Reflection Blog: Taking Someone to Lunch

 Just a few years before I retired I worked in the Wing Inspector General office.  We rotated who would be the project officer for each inspection as we performed 24 inspections a year.  This one particular time during my turn to be a project officer, I reached out to one of the senior enlisted people in the maintenance squadron we were about to inspect.  This was standard practice because they knew a lot of the leading information we needed to build our inspection.  This specific inspection was particularly difficult, largely due to this individual.  We were the same rank, so when I reached out to her I assumed she would have no problem helping me gather the info I needed.  Unfortunately, she did not see it that way.  She responded to my email request explaining that she didn’t understand what info I needed, why I needed it and that she didn’t have time to “do my job for me”.  After I cooled off and took a day to think about it, I responded to her.  Taking time away from a situation that provokes anger or similar emotion is always good for both people involved.  When I wrote my response to her, I explained what information I needed again, how it was much easier for her to get it or just send it to me rather than me going through various people for all of the different info.  I also invited her to go to lunch or meet up in either office to discuss it in person.  She never took me up on the offer and never responded.  In fact, I had to go around her to get the info I needed, but it would have been so much easier and more beneficial if she had helped me.  It really bothered me that she felt like I was basically trying to take advantage of her and I really wanted to fix it.

If she had decided to go to lunch with me, it would have been a much more productive conversation.  Email is two-dimensional in that you never get to see the other person’s body language, facial expressions or hear their tone.  “The largest part of the message-and arguably the most important-is conveyed by kinesics, or the combination of gestures, postures, facial expressions, clothing, and even scent.” (Preston, 2005)  I believe that if we had met in person we would pick up on those important non-verbals and she would see my sincerity.  People also tend to have a much more relaxed approach when you confront them in person.  Having an open and honest dialog would have established a more trusting relationship between the two of us and perhaps she would have been more willing to help me.  She would have realized I was simply asking for info that she probably knew off the top of her head or knew exactly where to get it and she would have been more likely to comply with my request.  In retrospect, I understand why she was upset initially.  From her perspective, she received an email from someone she barely knew, requesting info that she wasn’t willing to, or didn’t want to provide.  I realized my mistake and tried to remedy it by an in-person meeting.

Any time you have two people with completely different views on something, there is room for growth.  Granted, both individuals have to realize that fact and be willing to listen and participate in the exchange for it to be productive.  Taking someone you disagree with to lunch is a very basic way to meet someone in a neutral area and have an open discussion on whichever topic you feel is necessary.  With an open mind, you can walk away with a completely different perspective than you previously had not considered.  You may not part ways as best friends, but at least you will have had an open dialog and likely with have gained a mutual respect for each other just for the willingness to listen and be heard.

Reference


Preston, P. (2005). Nonverbal communication: Do you really say what you mean? Journal of Healthcare Management, 50(2), 83-6. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com.ezproxy.libproxy.db.erau.edu/docview/206728725?accountid=27203

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